Buying a horse for yourself is difficult enough, writes CAROLYN HENDERSON. But when a friend asks you to help them find the ideal partner for their child, the challenge level shoots off the scale. After negotiations between mother and 12-year-old daughter, we struck a compromise. It was a bit like the arguments you negotiate when buying school shoes; Mum wanted something safe, sensible and reasonably priced and daughter wanted something pretty, forward going and preferably palomino. Once we’d compromised on coat colour and established that the potential rider’s idea of forward going was a pony that she didn’t have to kick, finding candidates should have been easy. Unfortunately, there are sellers who either have no idea of their ponies’ temperament or stage of schooling or are simply dishonest. First, there was the one whose current young owner mysteriously wasn’t there to ride it. When we refused to let my friend’s daughter get on until we’d seen it ridden, the seller’s older daughter was roped in. We watched what we had been assured was a paragon of virtue buck every time it was asked to canter, and realised that perhaps they had been hoping the extra weight would weigh the pony down. Then there was the pony who went beautifully all the way down the arena, then spun and galloped back to the gate as fast as his 13.2hh legs would carry him. “Oh dear,” said his owner. “He’s never done that before.” Perhaps not, but he wasn’t going to get the chance to do it again. We also discounted the pony who “only needed front shoes”, possibly because when you tried to pick up his hindleg, he tried to kick you. Finally, we found a formidable-sounding lady with a New Forest pony for sale. I grilled her and then she grilled me with equal determination. When we met, it was like negotiating a treaty. It worked. The pony was everything she said he was: a happy, cheerful chap who had nice balanced paces and reasonable conformation and popped willingly over small jumps. The owner insisted that his potential new owner should groom him and tack him up, which was great, and he went nicely when ridden by her daughter. My friend’s daughter and the pony hit it off straight away and a few days later, after a satisfactory pre-purchase vetting report, the deal was done. I’m pleased we found her a pony she loves – bay with a white star is now infinitely superior to palomino - but depressed that there are sellers out there prepared to tell lies and risk the safety of a child. These weren’t dodgy dealers, they were private sellers with children of their own. Maybe they were prepared to put up with problems while the ponies were in their ownership, although I’m pretty sure the kicker and the one who napped in the school were being sold because of them. But while there’s no such thing as a bombproof pony, they were asked before we went to see them if their ponies had any problems or quirks. Since when did it become acceptable to risk the safety of someone else’s child? If you can’t solve a problem, get help from someone who can. Don’t just decide to pass it on and keep your fingers crossed. It isn’t fair on the pony – and it certainly isn’t fair on the children whose safety and confidence is compromised.